Addison and Jacob – The Beginning

I found this and could not resist sharing on here. We put this note in with the birth announcements of the twins. As the twins are being drawn to be added to a book of NICU babies and their birthday approaches, so many memories come flooding back. So to celebrate their 3rd birthday in 2 days and to not forget their journey, here is the story of Addison and Jacob - the Beginning.

Addison and Jacob – The Beginning

When we decided that it was time to have another baby and give Madalyn a playmate we never expected the surprise we would be in for at my seven week appointment. When the sonogram technician said 'I have some news' all I could think was 'I already know I'm pregnant.' When she said 'it's twins!' I was in happy shock for weeks. Jonathan saw the sonogram pictures and just stared for awhile until it sunk in, then immediately started planning for a new car – Men, lol! Things seemed to be going well until our 24 week appointment, the technician seemed to be taking extra long and when she said that the Neonatologist would be stopping in and that it was routine for all twins we knew something wasn't right. The umbilical cord to Addison was not getting the correct blood flow, instead of one continuous flow, it was stopping on and off. The specialist said 'If you were 30 weeks you'd be heading to the hospital to deliver right now.' But we had two babies to think about and we prepared ourselves for a balancing game of when it would be OK to pull them out in hopes that it would be in time for Addison but far enough for Jacob to stand a chance. A million prayers went up for the twins, thanks to a lot of great people and friends out there, and the waiting game started. Lots of appointments followed and at the 29 week appointment we thought 'prayers answered' - the specialist was happy that Addison was still growing and even thought it may just be how the cord formed and made my next appointment one that didn't need to check so thoroughly. Little did we know that it was really going to start going downhill. At the 31 week appointment that was supposed to be quick turned into a very long scary one. Addison hadn't grown since her 29 week appointment and where there had been absent flow, the blood was now going backward. I was sent for painful in the butt steroid shots to help their lungs mature faster and a non-stress test to see if the babies were coming out that day or if we could wait a week for the steroids to have more of an effect. The stress test looked good so we could wait a week and at 32 weeks 1 day, out came two cute babies by c-section. Our tears flowed along with them as we heard the second cry. Addison was put on oxygen and Jacob was looking well as they whisked them from the room. We started our very long stay at the neonatal intensive care unit, nicu, where I sat staring at the twins for long hours every day. Those on Facebook got a play by play of what went on, more for my sanity than theirs, lol. Within a few days Addison was off all breathing help, she was just a tiny but mighty little girl. Jacob, on the other hand, started struggling to breathe within a few hours after birth. My little man was happy in the womb and his lungs didn't appreciate coming out early. For two days straight things got worse, his poor little chest was going so fast it looked like he had run two miles and they were doing everything they could to help him. Finally his left lung partially collapsed and a chest tube was put in to help. Things got better after that and he slowly improved and later the one nurse admitted that he really gave her a run for her money as they kept him going. Jacob was one week old before I finally got to hold him, what a great feeling! The day I went into the hospital and found the two of them had been moved to the 'well' side of the neonatal intensive care unit was an amazing feeling! After 26 days in the nicu and Jacob was heading home on a few machines! It was a tough day as we had to leave Addison behind because she still wasn't big enough to come too. Four days later when the nurse said that if she reached a certain weight today she could come home the next day I was so happy I almost jumped out of the chair I was sitting in with Addison. The awesome nurses did what they could to stuff her full. When I called and heard she had hit the mark, we were ecstatic! After 31 days in the nicu our whole family would be together, it was such a relief and joy! The twins are now doing great. On September 1, Addison reached 5lbs and Jacob hit 6lbs, it was a day of celebration. Madalyn loves her babies and helping with them, when asked if people can take them home, she firmly says 'No!'. As soon as she comes home from daycare she has to check on them to make sure they are ok, she is the best big sister they could ask for! A big thanks to everyone who said prayers, helped out, sent cards and presents and especially the nurses who cared for the twins and made sure they came home! Our lives will forever be blessed and crazy!

Making Spray Lotion

So my sensitive skin pushed me over the edge to go on a hunt for help. I'm too busy typically for lotion, I barely make time to fix my hair lol. When I stumbled upon a link for spray lotion I took the bate!

I ordered the ingredients from amazon and tried it out. So yea it was a bit pricey but so is eczema lotion...

It helped! It is great on kids! Better yet I could make it unscented and spray on faces, bums, you name it! But then I couldn't help but mess with the recipe and find what works best. Here is my recipe...now the trick is if you want to feel less greasy then less oil :) currently winter is killing my skin but this is helping... No arm red rashes I usually get!! 

The mix:

1.5 tsp vegitable glycerin

1 - 2 tsp almond oil

1 -2 tsp grapeseed oil

2-3 tsp coconut oil

5-10 drops vitamin e

4-8 drops of essential oil

Fill the rest with water (about 1oz)

Shake and go

Step 1: get little 2oz spritz spray bottles from Walmart or anywhere...I like these best cuz I can color coordinate the scents.

Step 2: get your main oils - you can add all or some of what I add:

Coconut oil, low heat - I melt this to use it and then you have to warm the spray on cold days...but my computer runs so hot it keeps it warm at work lol

Almond oil - thicker oil, good for eczema, can give the greasy feel

Grapeseed oil - light oil, silky, but it I do only this one it doesn't help much with eczema
I recommend 1-2 tsp a lot above.....do not make every one 2tsp or it'll be very oily)

Step 3: other oils you need - vitamin E and essential oil if you want (I do lavender and vanilla mixed)

Step 4: get vegetable glycerin 

Step 5: have filtered or distilled water - I use my fridge filter water lol

It lasts a few weeks so I make it in small doses and then remake, takes 20 min tops. The pink bottle is how it looks when full and settled.

Note if using essential oils with kids - do your homework first! Not all oils are good for kids!

Our Pregnancy and NICU Journey

It's an interesting thing to look back at Facebook to what you post in the past. This is a trail of our pregnancy with the twins and after in the NICU. I could have sworn I wrote more but I think I was just too stressed to write updates some days. I also found that some of my days were off after all of that. This is one path I hope no one else has to follow again.

Their Overall Stats: 

• 23 weeks, 4 days - We found out Addison may not make it due to absent diastolic cord flow
• 31 weeks, 2 days - We found Addison stopped growing two weeks prior and her cord was starting to flow backward (a very scary thing)
• 32 weeks, 1 day - We intervened to save Addison and the babies were born
• Jacob was 3lb 14oz; Addison was 2lb 5.7oz. 
• 3 Days old - Jacob's lung collapsed after 2 days of being touch and go
• 7 Days old - Jacob got his chest tube out - I finally got to hold him for a minute
• 12 Days old - They were both well enough to move to the well side of the NICU
• 15 Days old - I got to hold the two of them at the same time
• 24 Days old - Jacob came home on oxygen and a pulse ox machine
• 29 Days old - Addison came home at around 3.8 lbs and we struggled to keep her weight up

Our Journey

Feb 19^th 2011 (10 weeks 4 days)
Madalyn announced that we were having  twins! Due date should have been Sept 12^th 

April 19th (19 weeks 1 day)
(notes from appt) -
Baby A is 11oz measuring 19 w 6 days

Baby B is 10 oz measuring 18 w 6 days

April 22^nd (19 weeks 4 days)
We got to see two cute little babies today!

May 20^th  (23 weeks 4 days) 
Well we had a sono today the little boy is doing well - the little girl could use some prayers that in 2 weeks the blood flow from her placenta gets better

(Notes from appt) - 

Baby a boy is measuring 23 w 6 days 1pd 6 oz

Baby b girl is measuring 22 w 1 day 1 pd 2 oz

Found out about absent flow in her cord

June 1^st (25 weeks 2 days) 
Thanks for all your thoughts! our little boy is still growing right on track. Little girl still has the cord issue but SHE'S GROWING so we are hanging in there as long as possible!! Keep those prayers coming we are 25 weeks and want to get to at least 32!!

(Notes from appt)

Boy is measuring 25 w 6 days and 1 lb 12 oz

Girl is measuring 24 w 2 days and 1 lb 8 oz 

June 12^th (26 weeks 6 days)
2 cribs, 2 dressers – getting very close to being ready!

June 15^th (27 weeks 2 days)
Jonathan called baby boy a 'hog' today because he's taking up all the room in the tummy but he is doing well and growing on track. little girl is balled up in my ribs still growing, still small, still cord issues. the doc said we're hoping for at least 32 weeks - back in another 2 weeks.

(Notes from appt) - 

June 15 at 27 weeks 2 days

Boy is 2 pd 6 oz measuring 27 4 days

Girl is 1 pd 13 oz measuring 26 weeks 

June 29th (29 weeks 2 days)
 (notes from an appt)

Male breach right 3 lb 3oz

Female fundal trans 2lb 7oz

she had 1 week different for bones & head is few days different

bones are normal range 

Blood flow good

Comment on girl breathing and moving well

July 4^th (30 weeks)
I reached 30 weeks!!!! Wooo hooo!!!

July 13^th (31 weeks 2 days)
Bad news today

Her cord flow is starting to go backward,

She didn't grow in two weeks

So today I head to the hospital and get non stress tests and a steroid shots

So if the test is ok at hospital I have 3 appts next week

If tests bad the babies will be here in 48 hours

If she is still not growing well see them Monday or so

(Notes from appt) 

31 weeks 2 days July 13

A measuring 31 weeks 5 days

3 lbs 11 

B measuring 28 weeks 3 days 

2 lb 9 oz

July 14^th (31 weeks 3 days)
Ok so it all sunk in late last night! The twins will be so tiny only 2.8 and 3.11. Sigh..

July 18^th(32 weeks 1 day)
Babies Today!

Twins born at 5:40pm and 5:41pm both crying!

 

July 19th (1 day old)
Long day so far – Jacob is now on more oxygen and had to have steroids and a billi blanket. Addison is under billi light and had to have sodium. Hopefully this turns back around in another day. Poor Jacob looks miserable.

July 20  (2 days old)  
Jonathan got to see Jacob wire free - he looks just like his daddy! He's still fighting and Addison is just feisty! Heading down there soon

Ok last update of the night: Addison is off of all air and only has billi issues - she is getting a little milk. Jacob is having all kinds of issues from breathing to infection now. Any stimuli is causing his o2 to drop so it's been a hard day for him. Hopefully the antibiotics kick in and he feels better tomorrow. Gnight

July 21^st  (3 days old)
Chest tube for Jacob - part of his lung is collapsed

July 22^nd (4 days old)
Twin update: Addison off all air, her jaundice is holding steady. She's starting to eat a little more too and I get to hold her every day.
 

Jacob is holding steady and as long as we don't disrupt him much his o2 doesn't drop much. Since he has days of drugs yet they are putting in a more central iv line he is also now in a corvette isolate

July 23^rd(5 days old) 
JACOB IS ON ROOM AIR!!! (a really good thing!!)

July 24^th (6 days old) 
It was a good day! The twins did very well and Addison got to hang with both me and Jonathan! She even tried breast feeding! Jacob may finally get to come out and play on Tuesday! Hopefully things keep going well so he can!

July 25^th (7 days old) 
Addison is getting her iv out today! Her feedings are high enough. Jacob gets his chest tube out today! Addison will be down to I thin 1 wire! Jacob is slowly getting there

I HELD JACOB!!!!! For a min but it was a great minute!

July 26^th (8 days old)
Good day today Jacob got his other big tube out do I could hold him today! What did he do - pooped all over me! Well I guess it was my fault cuz I put the diaper on too loose. Then addison peed all over her bed when I went to change her! I'll get the mom of the year award in no time!

July 27^th (9 days old)
ok update time - Jake first -. Jacob is now 4lb! he's pretty wireless now(ha like a laptop!) and we are working on trying to breastfeed him but every time he tries he gets milk in his mouth and forgets to breathe - pretty scary but it's typical in preemies so we'll keep at it, as frightened as he makes his mommy. i've gotten to hold him two days now.

Addison is doing great as per usual, she's eating like a champ and gets crabby at times so mommy has to hang with her - every time i walk away she cries, lol - maddie does the same thing lately ha ha. She hasn't gained much in two days so she is still only 2.6lbs. They both have lower blood sugars today so they are checking it again.

July 29^th (11 days old)
Did a little too much today and man do I hurt! Babies doing well! Addie's sugar keeps going low but she finally gained a little today! Jake is still trying bfing and took a bit of a bottle tonight! He lost a little today but not to worry he'll fain it back I'm sure!

Ok I know everyone wants an update lol - Addison is doing great her sugar is staying up and she's a champ at breastfeeding! Jacob is also doing great a little sleep apnea(no idea the spelling) and he's not got the hang of breastfeeding!

July 30^th (12 days old)
 They are on the well side of the nicu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

one last update for the night - Addison finally had a good gain - she is now 2lbs 8.5oz! yea yea i know she's still tiny! Jacob only gained 10 grams tonight and is 4lb 1.8oz. what a great day!

August 1 (14 days old)
Happy 2 week birthday Addie and Jake! They are slowly getting there

August 2^nd (15 days old)
alright I know I haven't updated much lately, so here are the updates:

Jacob is doing better with the bottle than breastfeeding but he'll get there - and hey whatever works at the moment! He is now 4lb 3.6oz - he decided to take after his sister and not gain too much

I got to hold the twins together today

August 4^th (17 days old)
Addie is dong well and gaining well and she can eat as much as she wants now - it'll still be a bit till she is up to where she can hold her body heat. Jake is doing ok, his O2 drops when he's eating so they put him on oxygen while he eats. after his bath yesterday I got him out to feed him and everything dropped (O2, heart rate) it was pretty scary. the nurse thinks he overexerted himself crying during the bath.

August 7^th (20 days old)
 The twins are 35 weeks (gestational) today! This means they can now come home whenever they are ready! And they are talking about jakes car seat check!

Addison hit 3lbs!!!! WOO HOO

Gram Becker got to hold Addison.

August 8^th (21 days old)
Jacob is in and open crib.

Bad news - another few days past wed before jacob comes home (the doc wants to try him without oxygen during feedings for a few days firs)

August 9^th (22 days old)
Jacob comes home Thursday

August 10^th (23 days old)
Jacob doing his car seat test at the hospital and then off to the guest room to spend the night with mommy and daddy

August 11^th (24 days old)
Jacob is in the car on his way home!!!!
 

Addison is 1523 grams - around 175 to go before she can be home bound. That is 3lb 5oz currently

August 12^th (25 days old)
Twin update - Addison is 1571 grams! Or 3 lb 7 oz! Hopefully she'll keep going at this pace! Jacob is doing well at home! Both had an eye appt today in Altoona and their eyes are great!

August 14^th (26 days old)
Addison gained 51 grams! She's 1651 - getting closer to 1700!!

August 15^th (27 days old)
Addison was 5 grams short of getting in the crib - but she may be home by the end of the week, fingers crossed

Addison is starting to get some chubby cheeks

August 16th  (28 days old)
Guess who might be home tomorrow - she has to be 1750 grams and she is 1733 now - come on addison you can do it!!!

August 17^th (29 days old)
Addison is home!

What a ride - We spent many days after both were home fighting to keep Addison's weight up, Jacob was on oxygen for a few months after and a constant pulse ox machine.
If you've read this far - let me just say - thank you checking out their journey, we are really blessed in the end...so many things could have gone wrong.

We march for Babies every year, so your posts can be much lighter, more excited, and much less dramatic than our twins start. March with us or help out a cause whose goal is to help keep babies inside if they can and help research and medicines and much more in hopes that others won't go through such heartache at such happy times
http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/t2109210

Good mom moment

I took a ten min shower leaving the kids to watch a show while I did so. Before my shower we had painted with water colors and then all kids took a bath. So it was a good night it seemed (we don't always get those days where everyone gets along).

I get our of the shower and open the door and Jacob jumps like he's in trouble from the kitchen floor. Being that he's my trouble maker, I look over him to the floor. I let out a huge gasp as I saw the water color water All over the floor. It was murky green and thick from Jacob painting the water lol.

I look back at jake and he looks so sad. Then I notice in his hand is a tightly held, soggy wet, falling to pieces, napkin. He sees me look at it and smiles a little, turns and gets back on the floor to clean up more. 

I was so taken aback by the thoughtfulness and the trying to clean up his mess that I smiled, looked at him and said 'are you hurt?' (The cup was up high) - he shook his head, still looking half in tears, and went back to trying to clean. I said 'I well then no big deal, let's get some paper towels' and I helped him clean it up. What a sweet little boy at times. He was so proud of himself when he was done! A fantabulous mommy moment!

2013 reflection - we can always grow

2013's story: there is always growing to do. 

This year I have grown as a mom who has it a little more together this year than last. I know a year ago I could handle my kids.... Notice I said handle, not enjoy. Now I can enjoy them. Yes, I still have a ways to go (and part of it is getting the time to get there) but it's a step.

As a couple, we learned a lot about our limits. You'd think after 10 years we would have it down, but life is always changing. The last few years with kids, lack of sleep, and work has been hard on our relationship. But we have love, so we work on us when we can. It isn't always a smooth road but as long as we learn we move forward with a bit more grace. I challenge anyone who is going through a rough spot to read the five languages of love, to take the effort to make dates that have talks of money, house, and kids off limits, to name 5 things you like about them a day - instead of what drives you nuts. People are not perfect but you marry them for a reason you know :) 

The kids grew leaps and bounds! Addison is talking a mile a minute, can go up and down stairs , and loves to play with her babies. Jacob has learned that he can figure out a lot of problems - like how to get around a gate to climb stairs. He has a bit of a road to go yet to find his voice but we know he will get there. Madalyn has learned ballet - loves it. She has learned to do math like a genius and remembers so many things that it amazes me daily. She is such an angel. 

As a working woman I learned that I am smarter than I think most days, that I still have a lot to learn. I'm always making mistakes and learning from them and getting new perspectives that I may not have thought about without my coworkers. When you think about it, you spend a lot of time at work so hopefully you learn something along the way.

As a woman in general I think I grew the least. I wanted to try running but had no time, I wanted to lose weight and didn't, I wanted to be more healthy and wasn't really. But I did learn that I can do it and I want to now lol - so baby steps.

So hopefully you all learned something this year and if you don't feel like you have - make it a goal. Grow grow grow!

Count your blessings

My wish for all of your this holiday season is that you can all count your blessings as I can. That every time life gets a bit crazy, a bit overwhelming, that you can stop and count. If you give yourself that gift you can smile more as you go through those tough moments.

 

As I drove home tonight with three kids in the back seat and a really long day behind us (as it always is) I felt really thankful for my three crazy kids. Yes as you can imagine, it gets really nuts around here. I swear we are the only ones walking into daycare with one crying, one wanting held, and one running wild as we go. I hear the following often: 'wow you have your hands full', 'your house must be crazy', 'I don't know how you do it'....and the likewise comments can go on. But really, I love it, I do. I've always been a little crazy so maybe that is why - but I love most all of it. yes I do have my crazy 'bad mom' moments where it's overwhelming, yes I wish Jacob would stop torturing the girls, that Addison would give Jacob a chance, and that Madalyn would stop dragging Addison around like she is a doll. But all in all we are really lucky - and they are lucky to get to grow together, experience together, get mad together. While Jacob may torture his sisters - he will give his precious binky up without hesitation if Addison is crying. Madalyn loves to put them to sleep and act like mom. Addison is my loner - happy to have two minutes of peace away from the other two but is always up for pretending with Madalyn.

I can see it all now - Madalyn my dancer who is too good will grow up to be the popular girl in school who I have to convince constantly that she can make mistakes. Addison - oh year she's going to give me trouble - I see tattoos and piercings and some dark makeup in her future, but hey we could all use a little bit of Goth around. Maybe she will get into gymnastics - with how tiny she is and how much we hang her upside down, it would be fun. Jacob - now the debate is what he will be. Jonathan wants a sporty kid, typical guy. But he has a very awesome mechanical nack and can figure out problems in such a great way - I think he'll be my little programmer. Hey, a girl can dream :). They will hopefully be healthy and not into drugs and that's the only thing I want really for them. The rest they will figure out and surprise me.

I count my blessings often, it's why I'm so glad I have them. It's not a hard thing to do, I almost lost 2 out of 3 of them so it's hard not to love every laugh, smile, and crazy thing they do.
1. Technology for babies - it's why I march for babies for the March of Dimes - can you imagine if we had no clue that Addison had a condition that would kill her in-utero?  We would not have kept on top of it and known when it was time to get them out of me.
2. Addison hearing my prayers - 31 weeks was the magic number that would give Jacob the best chance and Addison a chance as well for both to live. 31 weeks, that is 8 weeks early and still really risky - but the alternative was not a good one. so we threw out pregnancy books and focused on the goal....31 weeks. Addison did it, she is my hero - she kept slowly growing and had no big changes until - 31 weeks!! they were born at 32 weeks, 1 day. blessing counted.
3. Nurses in the NICU - Jacob fought to breathe for what felt like 100 days, in reality it was closer to 4 days. Until his lung finally collapsed and he got a chest tube in to help. The nurses kept him comfortable, kept me back, and watched him like a hawk. I swear the one was his own angel - he kept calmest for her.
4. Healthy kids - all three could have had all kinds of health issues. I see tons from the nicu kids, and random things for a bunch of little ones. my kids are active and healthy. some times it would be nice if they sat still but why wish that on them - maybe they would not be able to move at all? who would want that...
5. Happy kids - I hate when they frown, Madalyn can be really hard of herself - I have to remind her often that it's ok to make mistakes, break things, say the wrong thing, fall. I know it's not realistic but if I could stop every sad moment from them I would. Instead, I'll be thankful they have no reason to be sad now.

The list could go on, but those are my top ones - the ones I remind myself of when everyone is screaming and others around have no idea what to do. Someone up there knew exactly what they were doing when they gave me the three of them - a mom who can remember what it was like to be a kid, who does not expect the best all the time, who has made the fun mistakes in life, who can ignore three screaming kids while she eats a piece of pie. So while it may look hard (and it can be), you can also be secretly jealous of how much I love it. sadistic I know...

Merry Christmas all.

Aren't kids a work out?

I mean, when you think about it, I lift two 20+ lb weights and a 30 lb weight all the time, sometimes two at once! I watch other people hold my kids and 'uuugghhh...they are heavy!'. To me it's not so bad, I do it all the time - as they both want in my arms at the same time. So why am I not losing more weight?

Well if I think about it I could be gaining muscle? I guess I eat more than I did, since I can't get away with Lipton rice or Mac and cheese for my whole meal. It doesn't help that my husband loads my plate with twice as much as I'd eat! 

So the plan? Eat less, exercise, stop my peanut m&m fetish when working late at night.

what about you, what's your plan?